And the game's about to change. So it's time for one of those eye-opening entries about how much my life has changed for the better. And also, what I'm going to change for my own self-benefit. Plan is.. I'm going to, scratch that, I WILL keep my priorities straight this time. No more getting sidetracked or kicked off my own avenue. Regardless of whatever steps in my way. I honestly and truly got this, on my own. This past year, I've learned to be less co-dependent. That was my main ambition from the get-go of 2007. Before this year, I found myself even letting myself down. I was always that doormat, when it came to anything. Being nice was my weakness, and people knew that. Another prophecy just went down this year, time for a new beginning. Yet, I still insist on continuing this year. 2007 was the year I grew up from that ditch that always seemed to hold me back. So as 2008 approaches, I will keep standing on my own and relying on myself for my happiness. No one else holds that advantage, except me. Trust can't be tossed around left and right anymore.
2007 was the year that I ended friendships and rekindled old ones. It was the year, we were betrayed, fooled, and double-crossed. I was finally able to face and confront issues that had been weighing me down for awhile. Compared to most, I'm usually the softspoken one. Keeping everything dwindled inside, then explode later typa-thing. Bad, I know.. but that's just me. In the aftermath, I've finally realized that truth does hurt. It knows how to hit the spot real good. If it means losing a friend, then so be it. I'll speak my mind, with or without you. As long as I get my last word in. It's not because I'm stubborn, it's because I can't front anymore. So there, I lost that homegirl that always reminded me, "Put your girls first." Which fortunately left me with my bestbestbest friend, ever. It was never a title, because for as long as I've known her (since junior year of high school, pretty much), she's been there for me through everything, undeviatingly. Through the highs and lows in my life, she witnessed every minute. From bringing me out to get things off my mind (even when my eyes were swollen balling my eyes out) all the way to, our ASAP chill sessions just coz we haven't talked in days (eating pho was always the best resort, haha). So to the other half of JdubCM, thanks JanelleRia. I love you to fucking pieces!
My hands are numbing from typing while freezing, but I still got more. (I know I talk alot, but anyways!) Taking it way back, to sophomore year.. Caezarlyn! You're a fucking boss for being my best friend that long. Haha, no really, what a roller coaster. Through all my brokenhearts, you perceived it all. Always told me I deserved best and that I have potential for everything that came my way. There's innumerable times, I've let you down. Whenever you told me what's right for me, I took the wrong path intentionally. In contempt of it all, in the end, you never failed to say "Things will be okay." Thanks Hb! Who would have ever thought we'd have the same anniversaries!
Which leads me to the one that made this year all-embracing and complete. People doubted us, told me I deserved better, they even tried breaking us up. But I literally said "Fuck it." I've been through the unthinkable, I can handle whatever's thrown at me. It was never about what other people had to say. Feels like you grabbed my face and made me see things I wasn't able to see. The rest of the world is always a blur whenever I'm with you. And that explains why I'm still with you. I never got this feeling of reassurance, and you give me that everyday. You already know all this, because you're the one that finishes all my sentences, laughs at me when I'm yelling at you, and mocks me in my voice when you know I'm already upset. Hahah, damn I really do love you, baby. I can't wait to carry out all our plans together. Everything in my life includes you, even if you aren't my number one priority.. you fall into my list of pre-eminences. (: Thanks baby (again) for everydamnthing.
So that does it, for my 2007 thank you's. I know these people will be a part of my life for many years to come. (: Next blog, tomorrow. It'll be my New Year's resolutions! Nite blogmates.
2007 was the year that I ended friendships and rekindled old ones. It was the year, we were betrayed, fooled, and double-crossed. I was finally able to face and confront issues that had been weighing me down for awhile. Compared to most, I'm usually the softspoken one. Keeping everything dwindled inside, then explode later typa-thing. Bad, I know.. but that's just me. In the aftermath, I've finally realized that truth does hurt. It knows how to hit the spot real good. If it means losing a friend, then so be it. I'll speak my mind, with or without you. As long as I get my last word in. It's not because I'm stubborn, it's because I can't front anymore. So there, I lost that homegirl that always reminded me, "Put your girls first." Which fortunately left me with my bestbestbest friend, ever. It was never a title, because for as long as I've known her (since junior year of high school, pretty much), she's been there for me through everything, undeviatingly. Through the highs and lows in my life, she witnessed every minute. From bringing me out to get things off my mind (even when my eyes were swollen balling my eyes out) all the way to, our ASAP chill sessions just coz we haven't talked in days (eating pho was always the best resort, haha). So to the other half of JdubCM, thanks JanelleRia. I love you to fucking pieces!
My hands are numbing from typing while freezing, but I still got more. (I know I talk alot, but anyways!) Taking it way back, to sophomore year.. Caezarlyn! You're a fucking boss for being my best friend that long. Haha, no really, what a roller coaster. Through all my brokenhearts, you perceived it all. Always told me I deserved best and that I have potential for everything that came my way. There's innumerable times, I've let you down. Whenever you told me what's right for me, I took the wrong path intentionally. In contempt of it all, in the end, you never failed to say "Things will be okay." Thanks Hb! Who would have ever thought we'd have the same anniversaries!
Which leads me to the one that made this year all-embracing and complete. People doubted us, told me I deserved better, they even tried breaking us up. But I literally said "Fuck it." I've been through the unthinkable, I can handle whatever's thrown at me. It was never about what other people had to say. Feels like you grabbed my face and made me see things I wasn't able to see. The rest of the world is always a blur whenever I'm with you. And that explains why I'm still with you. I never got this feeling of reassurance, and you give me that everyday. You already know all this, because you're the one that finishes all my sentences, laughs at me when I'm yelling at you, and mocks me in my voice when you know I'm already upset. Hahah, damn I really do love you, baby. I can't wait to carry out all our plans together. Everything in my life includes you, even if you aren't my number one priority.. you fall into my list of pre-eminences. (: Thanks baby (again) for everydamnthing.
So that does it, for my 2007 thank you's. I know these people will be a part of my life for many years to come. (: Next blog, tomorrow. It'll be my New Year's resolutions! Nite blogmates.
2 comments:
I know what you mean about not wanting to tell a friend off. I hung around and kept some pretttty bad friendships these past few years because I believed that.. well since we were friends for THIS long, maybe we should stay friends.
However, I ended a friendship this year, and I can't tell you how much better things were. No more relying on a girlfriend to be there for you when her own interests had nothing to do with you. No more putting people at the top of your list if you're not at the top of yours.
And one thing that your blog makes me think about also.. is being stronger. I've never dealt with having a relationship before, so it was all about me, myself, and I. But now, I have to think twice before I do things to make sure that I don't hurt someone else's feelings. And at the same time, he also needs to learn to think about how I feel.
And I think that's how you and I are similar. We both want to keep our lives good, and we both want things our way. We want to hang on maybe when we're not being treated right. Or maybe.. we keep quiet because we don't make things worse.
So this year, I'm hoping that you grow stronger and show others how ASSERTIVE you can be. And I'm also hoping the same for myself.
Happy NYE Cheryl. I look forward to your resolutions blog=)
ps: godddd that was long. sorry
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