Sacrifices

Being it my last week before my school girl mode, I've tried to do everything and anything before I fully devote my life to this nursing program. I need to laylow and start sleeping early so that when next week comes, waking up won't be such a struggle. There goes my life.. I'm about to be in a relationship ..with school. I'm really glad I've been able to get all this partying and clubbing out of my system. I've honestly never put my liver through this much. No more until my 21st.. Seriousfuckingly! Okay, maybe this weekend. But after, it's a wrap..

Lately I've been facing the thoughts I always threw aside. I never ever imagined myself to be in the position I'm in right now. Complaining? Naaa.. more like finally breathing fresh fucking air. Frustrated because this feeling seems a little too real, and I can't fully accept how good I have it right now. I really do wanna be the girl he describes me to be, I'm just worried I won't follow through and the last thing I wanna do, is let him down. I'm finally stepping all over the doubts, but when shit goes bad.. I find em resurfacing all over again. Fortunate but oblivious to true happiness, because my stubborn ass still believes that good things don't come this easy. But shit, he's here ain't he? He's with me. But why do I keep giving him shit for being what I've been digging in all the wrong places for. Because he tells me everything I want to hear, and everything I want to hear.. is everything he wants. He says it's perfect since that's the case between us. So I'll believe him, because I want this, too.

It's been fun going out of my element, and really enjoying the "single life." Finally being able to understand that love can't get you through life. Only you can create your future, not someone who's only promised to be there temporarily. Understanding how boys will remain boys, and how you should never settle for less, and how you shouldn't waste time being stepped on. My girls helped me realize all this a long time ago. Yeah we go out, meeting new people and having our share of fun. But I love how we never lose focus on what's important. The real shit we hafta face when we wake up the next morning. No one can understand me like my girls do and I love em for that. Even when we're out doing our own things, having a boyfriend or another group of friends never changed anything. Just wanna give em credit for being bad ass bitches that I can always turn to. Love you guys forevs.

Okay back to cramming all these medical terms in my brain and textmania with my usual geeky lovaboy. Wish me luck on my interview this Friday!